For Parents & Caregivers
Your child’s illness doesn’t just affect them — it reshapes life for their brothers and sisters too. Find guidance here on spotting what your other child needs and keep every kid in the family feel seen.
Supporting Your Sibling Child
Why Support Matters
Benefits of Support
For the sibling: Support helps them feel less alone and better equipped to handle whatever comes their way. They gain confidence, feel more valued at home, and are less likely to face health struggles down the line, all while building a stronger bond with their brother or sister.
For parents: It's easy to feel stretched thin when a child needs extra care, and supporting siblings takes some of that weight off. Parents who prioritize sibling support often find they communicate better as a family and feel more confident in their parenting overall.
For the sick child: A sibling is often the longest relationship anyone will ever have, so investing in that bond early matters. When siblings get support, they tend to stay more engaged with their brother or sister, which strengthens that connection well into adulthood.
Emotions in Siblings
Difficult Emotions
Isolation: When a child needs a lot of care and attention, it's easy for a sibling to feel pushed to the side, even when that's the last thing you want. Without enough one-on-one time or a real explanation of what's going on, siblings can feel forgotten, feel different from their friends, and struggle to open up about what they're going through.
Guilt: Siblings often carry a quiet guilt for not having the same struggles, or for feeling frustrated by a normal sibling conflict. That guilt can make them bottle up their own needs, especially once they notice how much their parents are already carrying.
Pressure to be perfect: Many siblings try to be the "easy" kid so they don't add to the family's stress, and that can turn into serious perfectionism. Over time, they may tie their whole sense of worth to their achievements, afraid that anything less than perfect will let their parents down.
Challenges Across Ages
Challenges in Siblings
Young Children: Without a clear, age-appropriate explanation, young kids can feel confused about why their brother or sister is sick, what the diagnosis actually means, or why there are so many trips to the hospital. Being left home with grandparents or other caregivers while parents are away for treatment can bring on real loneliness, and not getting enough attention at home may lead them to act out just to be noticed.
Early teens (12-17): As friend groups and social awareness grow, siblings may encounter problems about how others react to their sibling, or resentment when family plans get disrupted by their sibling's sickness. This is also when anxiety and social difficulties tend to surface, showing up as withdrawal, trouble at school, or a sense that no one really understands what they're dealing with.
Young adults (18+): As independence becomes the focus, this group takes on real questions of responsibility, such as what role they'll play in caregiving as their parents age. Many start weighing big life decisions, like post-secondary pathways, relationships, and careers, against the ongoing responsibility they feel toward their sibling.
BC Children's Hospital- Sibling support resources for caregivers
- A simple one-page guide in 6 languages for parents and caregivers on supporting siblings from BC Children’s Hospital.
- Includes a long list of sibling support resources including books, online and in-person support centers, as well as guides on how to talk to your sick child’s siblings.
Siblings Australia- Sibling support resources for caregivers
- A one-page brochure from Siblings Australia for parents and caregivers of siblings of children and adults with disability or illness.
- Covers why sibling support matters, plus their SibWise online learning program, SibWorks facilitator training for health professionals, and a free storybook for kids aged 4-7.